Fantasizing before bed

When I was a kid, I would go into a dream world before going to sleep on my bed. In the dream world, I had all kinds of experience: Sometimes I was an undercover cop, and was not understood by other for things I had to do to cover myself up; Sometimes I was the Prince of Charming to a girl I had crush on… I enjoyed bed time when I was a kid, more specifically, I enjoyed the time before I fall in sleep.

But I seldom fantasize before bed nowadays. I couldn’t remember when I dropped this fantasy exactly. Last night when I was about to fell asleep, I just realized that I have not been in my dream world for a very long time.

Of course I understand it’s normal to fantasize when we are little: the world is full of potential and unknown to us, and yet most of us are “grounded” in the places where we were born. We have desires to explore the world and ourselves, so it only seems normal when we create our own dream world and explore it to achieve something we are not able to do as we wish.

But when we grew older, we started to understand the world, and some lessons were learnt in a painful way. I realized I could hardly become a hero that saves millions of people’s life and still keep anonymous. I have a work to do, and a girlfriend as well as family to take care of, and not everything could be what I want them to be. Being in a world that makes my wishes come true but in the meantime realizing it is just a dream makes me more unhappy. So I stopped becoming some hero in my dream, I became an ordinary man that tries to keep everything together. It sounds sad, but I think this is what we called “life”, as much as I don’t want to leave my dream world. I know a fact that that world is full of dreams I could possible make one or two come true, but I will inevitably break my heart if I don’t treat them as what they are: dreams. And I have a real life to live.